A new week ..
Well, today is daddy's birthday so Garrett and I are off to Atlanta soon. We are spending a few days there so we can visit with family and see my brother's new house. He and Amy called me very excited on Saturday night - they finally had everything in the house. This is a very exciting time for him and Amy and I am so happy for the two of them.
Mom and I will probably go shopping for Amy's baby shower. It is in a few weeks and I want to see some of the things that she is registered for so I can get her something nice. I typically tend toward some good board books and something off the registry - I just LOVE giving books to kids. To me reading is such an important thing and the love of it will carry a person very far in life. I read to Garrett several times a day and have books around for him all of the time, and I can't tell you how wonderful it is to see him go to a book and sit and flip through it - now at only 1 one year I have no thoughts that he is reading but he enjoys looking at the pictures of the stories we read daily.
On another note I am struggling with how to deal with something that has come up recently. I have several friends in not so good marriages - one just told me that her's is actually ending soon. The marriage that is ending isn't a surprise as it has been bad for years (didn't get bad until she became accidently pregnant and couldn't "party" with him the way she had for years - she did the necessary growing up for the baby and he hasn't). Both have complained about their situations off and on for quite some time and I feel for both of them. My quandry is this - how do I respond (not that I feel that I should give answers but a response is typically called for) as I know that they both married men that they didn't know very well and they thought were "fun", while I married a man I liked, respected, loved and could see raising a family with and have worked very hard to maintain a good marriage with? I have been told by one they have always thought Kevin a little stuffy/stodgy, and while he isn't the life-of-the-party personality he certainly is neither stuffy nor stodgy (he's shy and warms slowly). I have tried to stay on the path that just encourages them to pray about it and to follow the leading of our Father - that's all I can think of to say. I will admit that a small (and petty) part of me wants to do the na-na-boo-boo thing and point out that they both married men that are children because they were fun to date, and now that life dictates that they be more responsible it is a problem ... but that would accomplish NOTHING - absolutely NOTHING (I wouldn't even feel good if I did that nasty little thing)! I hate that these old friends of mine are going through these different, but still difficult, times and I want to be a blessing to them but find I can't relate to their experiences and have a hard time knowing how to respond.
OOhh well ... gotta run. Gotta get the rest of our stuff in the car and us on the road.
a
posted by andi @ 8:34 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your friends. You know it sounds as if they are reaping what they sow and sometimes it takes some hard knocks for some of us to grow up and realize what is important. Maybe through this you can take the hands of your friends and in a loving and caring way encourage them to see that the life they've chosen to live isn't the best for longevity. I know that is easier said than done so with that I'll be praying for you that the Lord would provide you open opportunities to share openly and honestly with them.
I think the thing I think about most of all in situations like this is the children who suffer from divorce. - I mean, I am not totally against divorce if it is unhealthy and causing more damage than good to the kids and spouses.. I know some of my friends have found love and marriage to be wonderful a second time around. I'm so thankful my mom was able to find success with someone else.. I was so blessed because she was BRAVE enough to leave my father. For that I can only say, THANK YOU MOM! :) So, with courage these young women may make right a wrong decision. The key is if they learn from their mistakes and chose wisely if given a second chance..... That is how I will pray for them.
It's never easy to see your friends go through something like that... I'm sure though you will be a GREAT friend- You're such a great listener and I've never known you to speak rashly.. so I'm sure that the Lord will guide you with words of encouragement and wisdom....
thank goodness for friends who stick by us through these difficult times... :)
bye for now...
melissa
I wish you were right about never speaking rashly - I have this 'if it hit's my mind it's out my mouth' syndrome pretty badly. I see the walls they are running into and I hate it and would love to point it out but I can't. It's the seeing and remaining silent that kills me.
I guess it is because I didn't have a good marriage the first time that I picked the man that I did. That first experience made me realize it isn't all about flash or excitement - it's about who they are, how they treat you in all situations, how they treat their families, if they are responsible, if you LIKE them, respect them and then love them. It isn't all teh fluffy feelings that should guide you for marriage - there's just too much more to it. They should be your best friend and they should treat you that way. THese particular people married some men they thought were fun and exciting and when I didn't they picked on me a little about it (again Kevin isn't boring but is shy and just will never be the life of the party guy and I like taht about him) and that is making me want to na-na-boo-boo a little. BUt then they tyipcally bring out my childish side ... so I guess that's why they are more "old" friends and not really still good friends.
I agree about some divorces really being for the best. I still thank mom for leaving Jay and marrying daddy. My life would have been aweful if she had stayed -- my goodness I cna't even imagine. It sounds like this particular person is married to someone that struggles with addiction issues and wants to play and party and it is just not good for kids to be raised in that environment ... nor the subsequent turmoil that comes with it. I have encouraged her to pray and to use that leading to guide her decision. That her priority is making sure that her daughter is in a good home environment and just because they don't live together it doesn't mean that the dad won't be involved.
I tell you I am so thankful for my marriage to kevin and say a prayer of thanks to God everyday for putting him in my life. He is such a good man to me and such a wonderful dad to our son. A good marriage is such a blessing! I will do whatever work is necessary to maintain that relationship.
Thank you for your words of advice!
love you!!!!
a
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