July 20th

Wow ... I could just stay in bed all day. Not really tired but have NO energy at all. I know it is just sadness from missing Jeryd and I am muddling through it. It really does help that I have this wonderful, vibrant little boy to play with all day. He has been pretty snuggly today - wanting me to hold him and read to him and that is just fine with me. As a surprise KP brought home lunch, some flowers and a butterfly balloon for me (butterfly's are our symbol for Jeryd - right after he died our yard was flooded with small pale butterflys and they stayed for the remainder of the summer). He is so thoughtful - he didn't mention it as we both know good and well what today is but just the same he wanted to do something little for me.

I know I am very blessed in my life with a great marriage to a man I really love, with a wonderful little boy, great family and friends and a nice home. And I know it was a blessing to know my son for the brief time I was allowed to know him and I know he is with our Father but boy do I miss him.

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