Another week ...

While most of the week has been pretty low-key we did have one pretty major event that got us all in an uproar.

When we moved to B'ham I found a mommy & me group that has weekly playgroups, book clubs, stroller/walking club and many other activities that Garrett and I have been pretty active in for a while. This week we hosted playgroup at the house (we can host it at our homes or at a place/event in the area) and there were only a few kids this week (we have 8 or 9 in our age group total). The problem is that there is one kid that is really aggressive - he is also the oldest (19 mos) and very large for his age. He pushes, throws things, head-butts and has tried to bite on several occasions, but typically he doesn't really do any damage (we all watch him pretty closely). Apparently, he picked this week to ramp up his aberrant activities as he bit 2 of the kids and Garrett was one of them. This child (a.k.a. Hannibal) was playing in the ball-pit with Garrett and leaned over to kiss him (we were all right there) and then looked up, and since his mom wasn't looking right at him, he grabbed Garrett by the head and bit him on the nose hard enough to make it bleed in several places. Needless to say Garrett lost his mind, I grabbed Garrett and the mom grabbed her child but all she really said to him was ' look at Garrett - he's crying - he's upset because you hurt his feelings'. I worked really hard to keep my cool (and pulled it off) and just held Garrett for a while (after cleaning his nose up) and she let her son back down to play where he went straight back to the ball are and grabbed the arm of another child and bit him as well. This all happened in under 3-4 minutes. She then made some noises about how her son was tired and he did stuff like this when he was tired and they left.

I was so stunned that I couldn't say much but the other mom's and I talked about it a little later, and we all had noticed how aggressive he was and that it was only getting worse. We also discussed how the mom's handling (or lack of) was also an issue but we dropped it there.

Well, we (luckily) had Garrett's 1-year dr's appointment that afternoon and so the dr and I had a LONG talk about human bites and how dangerous they are. I left with lots of literature and the overwhelming desire to talk to this mom.

I kept my cool, didn't call or send email that day so I could calm down (I only got more angry as the day wore on as she never bothered to call and check on him) but the next day I drafted and email and was VERY nice and framed the email like this 'I thought you would want to know that Garrett seems to be doing OK today - I didn't realize how bad human bites were and here's what our Dr said about them' and just closed. I didn't get angry or accusatory or say anything about her son - I just left it in the educational and informative (about Garrett's nose - we have managed to prevent an infection which is a big deal) nature. I received an email from her and then a phone call - she was so upset about the whole thing. Come to find out she is totally overwhelmed - she is young, a very soft-almost mousy personality who has no real experience with kids prior to this and her son is a large, intelligent, extremely strong-willed child and he kind of has the upper hand already. I ended up calming her down on the phone and later sent her another email just offering her some support and telling her the places I have looked for information when I have run into issues with Garrett.

Garrett seems to be healing well so I am really thankful for that. The only problem is that Garrett has nipped me twice in the last few days since being bitten. This is new and I have to think it is from his little experience - I am just coming down hard on it (harsh tone, interrupting behavior, swatting leg and isolation) and hope to nip this in the bud rather quickly (no pun intended).

On another note, I saw a specialist this week for a first trimester screening test for chromosomal and neural tube issues. I have already told them that Downs (the most common form of chromosomal) isn't ever an issue but with my age (i.e. old) I have a little over 1 in 100 chance of having any issue and the other options are very very very bad (baby won't live till birth) so away we test. I got my results and so far everything looks good but I have to have another test in a few weeks and I will have results that will be 95% accurate. I look at it this way - if this is what God has in plan for me then this is the road I am on and he will walk me down it and I have no real intention of getting too involved with altering this course. It would be so difficult if I lost another child, but I have seen that I can get through that and if that happens then Kevin and I will just simply adopt (not a baby but a little older child). I have always wanted to adopt anyway and we still might do it in a few years (I really would like 3 children). I learned from my dad that family and love is a choice - my dad has loved me more and treated me better than my biological father could have ever even dreamed of doing and I would like to share that with another child.

Well, that's my week. I should run - we have a repairman here working on our attic fan (it died) so hopefully our upstairs will be cooler and we can hopefully lower that monthly electric bill.

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